wine night.

last night was wine night.

rules:

• bring a bottle of wine
• bring a snack
• everyone introduces their wine (the name, the kind, why they bought it, and then read any excerpts on the bottle)
• choose something to toast to (or in leah's case just salute)
• everyone tries the wine

since we're classy and all, here is some of what we all managed to bring:

• tostitos and dip -me
• string cheese- sally (who formerly brought harvarti cheese to the last wine night, mispronouncing it as "haverty's", a furniture store)
• oreos -leah
• cheetos -eileen

we're not at all in need of etiquette classes.

doh!

i've developed a slight limp just now. the sole culprit is an unintentionally direct collision between my rear end and the edge of a table. I had leaned over to tie my shoe, so I was in a stance similar to the middle evolutionary piece between a monkey and man, when I suddenly stood up, forgetting the table was behind me, causing my butt bone to hit the table edge with the same sort of physical conviction a foot has as it makes contact with a soccer ball aimed for the end of a field.

at which point mom chooses to round the corner, not phased at all at the sight of me gingerly rubbing my bottom with a pained expression.

that's gunna bruise.

even smile in your liver

As tradition goes, today I got ice cream from the ice cream truck that still makes its rounds in our neighborhood of teenagers who are of course too cool to do anything remotely childlike. Instead they lean against their newly acquired cars and stare at the lone person waiting in line for ice cream, me. I clutch in my hand the change I excavated from old purses and backpacks as the truck comes to a stop in front of my house, its music, a rendition of "it's a small world" that unfortunately sounds like it came straight out of a horror movie trailer, echoing quietly in our cul-de-sac. Usually, I file in line behind 3 year olds. I guess they're all busy taking naps, or pooping, or being sweetly innocent and uncorrupted by this mad world of ours.

While I savor my cents' worth of ice cream, I peruse an Express magazine full of clothes I can't afford. Oh but wait. There's a coupon! "spend $100 or more and get $30 off". Well, that excitement was short lived. I rip up the coupon, all the while arguing vehemently with it (an inanimate piece of paper). Having sufficiently torn it to smithereens and dramatically thrown it away, missing the trashcan entirely of course, I head downstairs.

There I find dad sitting at the kitchen table, where we embark on one of our incomprehensible "are we bonding right now?" moments. aka, we talk about his life growing up in the Philippines and he reminds me how he accomplished so much on nothing, internally making me immediately shameful of the current going ons in my life. today, he recalls working out in the rice paddies. Naturally my mind cuts to what my friends' reactions would be, had they been flies on the wall for this conversation. They'd never resist the opportunity to envision me, in a comically huge stereotypical rice paddy hat, standing there, confused as hell as to how the actual mechanics of rice gathering goes. you mean you don't just stand around waiting for mulan to come by singing about hiding her gender from the boys, who are not yet men, surrounding her? who knew.

But as I direct my attention back to the conversation, dad is reminding me, that hey, it's just material things (money and such), which interestingly enough reinforces a quote i just read from Gabrielle Bernstein: "if your happiness is based on external experience, then, my darling, you are fucked." Slightly crass, yet completely true. (and yes I finished "this is where i leave you" in a day, owing to the absence of any impending paper or exam. and yes, i highly recommend it) So much as of late has been reiterating to me that yeah, in a few months i might be unemployed and s.o.l. in the finance department while a student loan bill lurks just around the corner, but somehow it will all work out and i will be okay, cuz hey, it's just material things.

most resourceful post grad award goes to...

the one and only. working on her box of "delicates."

mint chocolate chip. yerba mate. tropper. bon iver.

it's a rainy day in summer and i love it.

started a new book today! "this is where i leave you" by tropper (thanks to "a little lamb" 's recommendation) and i cant put it down! it has me giggling silently to myself while also pulling ever so slightly at my heart.

a good book. some tea. a lit candle. bon iver-esque playlist. and raindrops on my window. pure joy.

also, rumor has it this weekend i am finally learning how to make egg rolls!!!! it's pretty much the only thing standing in the way of me successfully completing i-am-filipino 101.

my last culinary attempt was surprisingly a success. (pansit) let's hope for the same outcome!!

kurt hugo schneider

at first i didn't like this song, but the video makes me smile. i like the things this schneider fellah films

"there's nothing like a storm in your heart to wake you up"

tree...tree....tree...

aside from the usual lull of monotonous I26 scenery, something more eventful was occurring behind the seemingly blank stare gazing, yet in a I'm-still-paying-attention-to-the-road sort of way, at the unchanging and endless highway. the weather, oddly compliant with the ramblings within, seemed to match the storm in my heart...it was raining...and simultaneously...SUNNY.

I lost and regained my sanity all over 26. i gave to the emotion each meaningful chorus and verse drew from the labyrinth of uncertainty brewing in my head. what of my heart? well, it was more vicious. it thrashed me about, left me hanging from rooftops. in the midst of being reduced to my most pathetic self, i found myself calling out to God for the slightest bit of relief and begged for even a glimpse of peace.

and somewhere between clemson and charleston, the journey traversed in my soul measuring far longer than the miles counted between state borders, i rediscovered myself just in time for the sun to set on a world that was not as scary as it had been mere hours before.

breaky and paper at sunrise

to my parent's astonishment, i was up and at 'em early this morning. AND reading the paper. i must say, it's a stark contrast to last summer's habit of rollin' out of bed at 1PM, totally oblivious to the outside world, and inquiring about breakfast, only to be told it's past lunch time. but it's nice. i like an early start. it's done wonders for my daily productivity level. those of you who know me (3.5 of which are maybe reading this) know that i've struggled with that in the past. so here's to having an awesome day and start to the week everyone! turn on some good tunes and get motivated for the day! =]

but just for giggles...

nom noms

downsize?

yup, i'll prolly cry when glee ends this season

the bass of the party below rocks my sleeping bag and i to sleep

welcome to the desolate apartment of 733. what you see in this picture is all i have left to my name right now. the rest of my life belongings are currently living the dream and taking up residence in my friend's parent's house. as you can see, i have only what i need to survive i while wrap things up in clemson.



but it's all good with me cuz i get to be reunited with charleston for a month!

Lord, we know not what we're doing.

monday pick me up song

why do i like coke commercials?

because they inspire acts of kindness.

and our world doesn't get enough of even the simplest of these acts.

help someone out today, or even drop a line or two to an old friend just to say hello and that you hope they are well. and do it with genuine sincerity.

it can be surprising how mutual the benefit is. cheerio

'arry has successfully taken up years of my life

and what better way to await the premier than to loiter around your local cracker barrel

and yes. my shirt says "wadup snitches?!"

needed

A co-captain for my uhaul excursion next week.
Must be a good companion and be able to sing and dance on command.
Must be able to provide riveting conversation and remind me that the uhaul will not fit through a drive thru.

No references needed, but if you can provide a disco ball for the uhaul then you've pretty much got it made.

Apply now to be considered.

Incentive: snacks will be provided. and i'm pretty much the coolest thing this side of the US. besides the new ketchup packets.

"so if you care to find me, look to the western sky"

Sometimes, you gotta throw caution to the wind and just do spontaneous things. It keeps life exciting, fresh, and new. The smallest journey can provide a much needed escape from the everyday schedule and set routine. It's good to shake it up a little, you know? Sometimes the blur of highway dotted lines and uncharted streets are just what the heart needs.

somethin wants to grab my hand and take off runnin

i've got a line stuck on repeat in my head, and there's nothing left to do but sing it out and sing it loud, this is here, this is now, from the rooftops i've gotta shout

i have love affairs with sharpie pens

when i close my eyes

i wish the world were a safer place, cuz if it were i'd explore every corner and every street. acquaint myself with both the sunrise and the creatures of the night, stare up at the stars from open fields and from rooftops. i'd snap every new expression in black and white. i'd taste the rain as it fell. why, i'd wander to my heart's content till something drew me home.

im not quite sure what possessed me to do this but i reread what i just wrote and decided to pick up the gee-tah. if i were to make this a song id have so much fun making the music video =] def cityscapes, open fields, and chucks involved.

i swear book shelves are closing in on me

oh you know, im not a good student...so forcing myself to study as of late has been nothing short of brutal.

but now that i've made a youtube video, read ALL of Dianna Agron's tumblr (LOVE) i guess it's time to hit the books, figuratively. i specify only because i would literally like to hit my book. repeatedly. with a chain saw.

the only thing that will get me through the night of study induced delirium is the fact that Katie Law is coming into town soon! yay friends! with little ellie gone i have only 4 blank walls to talk to. they're great listeners and all but it would be nice to rediscover human interactions. =]

so clemson, if you see me try to wander out of cooper tonight, kindly throw me back into the dungeon. disregard whatever incoherent babble that will undoubtedly escape my lips. i don't take too kindly to science books.

and yes, i am a biological science major.

cheerio

when will my reflection show who i am inside?

Short and Simple.

it's about time to pursue what i personally love and not let who i am supposed to be in other people's eyes stifle who i really am. for the longest time i have struggled between entertaining the thought of going after my own passions and respecting my parent's wishes, academically that is. it's been so hard for me to break the mold and stray from the path they had set down for me because i respect and love them so much.

but one's life is not meant to be lived for other people, and it is far more than simply breathing in and out. rather, it is the discovery of what makes your own heart happy. i can no longer deny the throbbing desire to simply let me be me, and in doing so i embrace the challenges of allowing the realization of my own dreams.

i recently watched mulan again and the song reflection really speaks to me, well, more than a disney hit ordinarily does. stole some chords from darren criss to try it out myself. basically wrote em down, clicked record, and saw what happened. but here it is:


not sure why i look orange like an oompa loompa....